


You Weren't Meant For Me (But I Will Always Love You)

by closetbidisaster



Series: Fics inspired by songs [15]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 10:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21444907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closetbidisaster/pseuds/closetbidisaster
Summary: The truth is I'm happyYou're with me forever in my memoriesAnd I understand that you weren't meant for meBut I will always love youOrAlex is trying to move on
Relationships: Alex Morgan/Kelley O'Hara
Series: Fics inspired by songs [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1516991
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	You Weren't Meant For Me (But I Will Always Love You)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from A Quien Tu Decidiste Amar
> 
> Suggestion and song translation from @alexohara19 on Tumblr

Alex is hurting, but she is not in denial. They broke up five months ago and she long ago lost hope of them getting back together. She knows that they are over, but that does nothing to ease the pain of it. The reality that she will never again come home to find Kelley dancing in the kitchen to some stupid song one of the kids showed her while cooking dinner for the two of them sunk in about a month after the breakup. Gone were the nights when they would sit on the couch, cuddled up under a blanket and watching an old movie. No more tossing popcorn at one another, no more singing together, no more kitchen dance parties, no more waking up in the same bed.

Her head still has trouble sometimes. Her brain is not always willing to comprehend the fact that she now lives alone, but it is always put in its place swiftly. Whether it is coming home to a quiet apartment or catching sight of a half-empty closet or noticing that there is now only one pair of cleats hanging by the door instead of two, she is quickly reminded when she forgets or even just tries to go more than a few days not thinking about her.

If she had been paying better attention, she would have noticed her, now ex, girlfriend pulling away. She would have seen all the signs pointing towards the inevitable. But she was so wrapped up in her own stuff that she had missed it completely. She had been blindsided when the shorter woman did it and expected her friends to react the same. They felt sorry for her, sure, and offered condolences, but Alex could tell they all knew it was coming. That made it so much worse. It also made it hurt that much more.

Three months after their breakup, Kelley has a new girlfriend. Alex doesn’t know her name, and frankly, she doesn’t want to either. It will only make it hurt more. The shorter brunette wasn’t even the one who told her about the new relationship; she found out when Tobin put her foot in her mouth and let it slip one night while the Thorns were visiting Orlando. Alex had nearly dropped her drink at the revelation and the Portland midfielder had immediately realized her mistake. There was no going back though; the Orlando striker now knew the truth and had no idea what to do with the information.

As wrong as it felt, her curiosity ultimately won out and she searched around for the new couple on various socials. She was unsurprised to find there were next to no photos of them. Kelley liked to keep her private life just that. Their own relationship had been kept under wraps, never anything more than speculation from the fans. Nothing was every exactly denied but nothing was ever explicitly confirmed either, which really just confused pretty much everyone outside their NWSL teams and the National Team. The few photos Alex managed to find of Kelley and her new girlfriend hurt more than she expected. She knew it was not a good idea to lurk and go looking for her ex’s new relationship, so she really had no reason to be surprised.

Nonetheless, she felt the wind get knocked out of her when she saw a picture of them together at a wedding. The couple had not seen the photographer, too busy being wrapped up in each other’s eyes. Alex recognized the look in the shorter woman’s eyes; it was the same look she used to get from her. She felt tears prick her eyes as she realized what it meant. Kelley is in love with someone who isn’t her. Her hand starts to shake and she puts her phone down to keep from dropping it. Kelley was moving on; Kelley was happy. And here she was, pining for a woman who no longer loved her. As pathetic as it felt, she knows she will feel like this for a long time. The older woman had affected her more than either of them had ever thought. 

She has played the game of picturing a future with someone, anyone, else. So far, she has been unsuccessful. The only one she wants by her side is off with another woman, happily in love, while she is left to pick up the pieces of her broken heart herself. She has been on a few dates since the breakup, the number increased after the discovery of Kelley’s new relationship. Again, there was no success. Nobody she had met or been set up with held her interest. Her friends complained that they were running out of friends to set her up with, which was fine by her. Nobody would ever be able to compare to Kelley O’Hara and the hold she had on her.

At the very least, she hopes the Utah defender’s new girlfriend knows how lucky she is to be with Kelley. There was something about the defender that made her special. Maybe it was her beautiful childlike joy or the way her eyes light up when she talks about something she is passionate about or the way she is always checking on the younger players and pulling them in with the vets of her desire and willingness to love so wholeheartedly, so vulnerable and unafraid. Alex could think of a million ways the older woman was unlike anyone else. They were the reasons she had fallen in love with her in the first place and why she found it so hard to try and move on now.

Alex wiped her eyes, vowing that would be the last time she cried over the freckled woman. After all, at the end of the day, all she wanted for her best friend, the love of her life, was for her to be happy. That was all she had ever wanted for her. Sure, it would be infinitesimally better if she could be the source of her happiness, but she supposes she ultimately just wants Kelley to be happy. If she cannot be the one to provide it, she will make damn sure that whoever is the provider knows what they have and that they better not screw it up.

What hurts the most is knowing that she could have been the one for Kelley. Nobody could deny their insane chemistry, both on and off the pitch. And everyone ragged on them for acting like they were dating and bickering like an old married couple long before they were together. Going from friends to dating was a seamless shift, which really just means most people thought they were dating way before they actually were. The push and pull between the two, the way they seemed to really only be soft around each other, the natural instinct to protect one another. It was part of what made their relationship so special.

Now Alex is left hoping Kelley’s new girlfriend is not only treating her right, but treating her like the queen she is. She truly believes the older woman deserves the world and everything in it. She had done what she believed was her best to keep the defender’s heart safe and intact when they were together. But that wasn’t her responsibility anymore. Now that duty is in the hands of the new girl.

If it were up to her, Kelley never would have walked away that night. If she had it her way, the two of them would still be together, happily together. Nothing and no one would get in between them and their love for each other. But again, that is no longer any concern of hers. She has to start to move on with her life, away from the older woman. It is not something she ever thought she would have to do.

After talking herself in circles for nearly two hours, Alex finally takes a minute to look out the window of the coffee shop she is in. It was one they often frequented whilst they were together. Perhaps that was why she got so caught up in her head. And perhaps that was why she had completely missed Kelley walking in and sitting at their old couch. She had yet to see the younger woman and Alex was praying she would be able to slip away before being noticed. She was two steps away from the door, getting ready to reach for the handle when she stopped dead in her tracks. If she was going to be serious about letting go and moving on, she needed to do this.

Taking a deep breath, she turns around and looks to the couch where Kelley is seated, reading a book Alex had suggested to her. She tries not to think about that as she approaches the older woman. The freckled defender has yet to notice to her presence so she clears her throat slightly. Kelley looks up, startled, and something clicks in her as she takes in the woman in front of her. She opens her mouth to say something, possibly a short, friendly greeting, but nothing actually comes out. Alex clears her throat again; her mouth feels dry.

“Look, I know that it’s not exactly my place, but I need to say something.”

Kelley just nods in response, waiting for her to continue.

“I hope you’re happy. And I don’t say that sarcastically or patronizingly; I mean it. I genuinely hope you’re happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. And I can’t thank you enough for all the memories you gave me when we were together. You truly are incredible and anyone would be lucky to be yours. I know I was. This isn’t me begging you to take me back. This isn’t some ploy to make you feel guilty for something you have no reason to feel guilty about. I just want you to know that I’m glad you’ve found someone to make you happier than I’ve seen in a long time. Thanks for the memories, Kel. I’m sorry we weren’t meant to be. I will always love you, but it’s time for me to let go and to move on.”

With that, Alex turns and leaves, already feeling lighter.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this latest installment of unhappy Kellex. 
> 
> Another one will up in a couple of days.
> 
> Drop a song suggestion in the comments or on Tumbler (@closetbidisaster) and I'll add it to my list; all genres are welcome!


End file.
